Offenders

One thing that frustrates me most is the public perception of sex offenders. Politicians use it as this lightening rod issue to put fear into people, to create anger around dollars wasted on housing these “monsters” and to gain votes. Needing to feel safe, the public obliges. Out of fear, anger, and the need to have someone to blame, the public vilifies and dehumanizes offenders.

I am not saying offenders should get cushy digs, nor am I saying they are treatable (I honestly don’t know if they are). I am not saying they should be allowed to offend again.

What I am saying is that they are human beings. They were all once children, and we know that most offenders were once children who were victimized themselves. Victims often grow up to be abusers. The abusers are not the low-class monsters we like to portray in the media; they are, in many respects regular people who do a terrible thing. Just like any other person, they can even have aspects to their personalities that are quite likeable. Humans are complex beings and to simplify sex offenders onto being less-than human is a mistake.

Rather than arguing over the amount of dollars that we put into housing sex offenders, we ought to look at the number of dollars we put into:
1. Prevention
2. Education
3. Therapy and recovery programs for victims

These three things would prevent the population of offenders from growing. It could save lives by preventing potential offenders (today’s victims) from ever becoming offenders, helping victims to thrive, and preventing future victims from ever becoming victims.

It is painful, truly painful, how much this issue confuses me. As a victim, I feel anger and even hatred towards people who are abusive, and also towards those who looked the other way. As the daughter of an abuser, I also have a face that I can put onto these “monsters.” Yes, what my dad did to me was terrible, but he is still my dad. I saw the good side of him too.

I am angry at all of you who can simplify this into an “us” versus “them” issue and see offenders as “monsters.” It leaves the victims of incest, like me, as the only ones who have to cope with a terrifyingly complex issue.